\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. This misunderstanding is more common when children are the victims of sexual abuse, especially when the child was. Be aware of this possible connection, but don't share this with your children as it may be very confusing to them. You might feel angry at your partner for talking about the abuse, and then guilty for feeling angry. In recovering from the trauma of sexual abuse, you'll both have to take turns giving and receiving support. It’s awful to even have to wonder if your girlfriend has experienced sexual abuse, but it’s a reality you may have to face. Memories of the events might come in bits and pieces that may not make sense to her. If you are in an intimate relationship with a person who was sexually abused as a child or teen, this booklet is for you. Can my girlfriend recover from sexual abuse? If she would just put it aside, and get on with her life, we'd both be better off. It's like living with a stranger, and I really miss the old person. If you and your partner are the same sex, the issues are similar: the recovery process is similar and the principles for supporting your partner are the same. When the unthinkable happens such as in several of the clinical cases described by Dr. Bruce Perry in his book The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog and Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrists Notebook: What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us about Loss, Love and Healing, the mind copes by mobilizing the body to express something that is otherwise inexpressible with words. I know she's getting better, but where does that leave me?". To do this she'll probably need help from a trained trauma counsellor. Keep the explanation short and simple, and reassure them that they're not responsible for their parents' feelings. Being the partner of someone who experienced sexual abuse can be both an ordeal and a rewarding experience. Make healthy diet, exercise, sleep, and lifestyle choices to support your mental and physical wellbeing. When someone is sexually abused, they don’t always interpret what’s happened to be abuse. 17 Signs Your Partner Has A History Of Toxic Relationships - Bustle Here, the body may simply choose to move on from the damage. 11 Common Symptoms Experienced by Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse As Greg became more realistic about her, he gave up playing the "white knight". Tell them that: Michigan.gov: “Child Sexual Abuse and Warning Signs.”, National Center on Sexual Exploitation: “Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse.”, Raisingchildren.net.au: “Signs of sexual abuse in children and teenagers.”. In addition to the psychological distress that may increase the effect of survivors' symptoms, there is evidence that abuse may result in biophysical changes. When your partner decides to deal with the abuse, she'll enter a stage of hard emotional work. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Direct physical signs of sexual abuse are not common. signs your girlfriend was sexually abused in the past She'll experience emotional upheaval which may include grief and anger. Depending on the age, specific nature of the sexual trauma and the temperament and coping skills of each person, the clinical presentation may look differently. If you think they'll support both you and your partner, tell them. I wondered who was going to take care of me the way I was taking care of him. Retrieved And if you feel like this is a situation where you need additional help, whether that’s therapy or something else, I’ll do whatever I can to help you find the support you need.”, “I’m so sorry that you had to experience something so awful, and I can only imagine how difficult that was for you to talk about. Tiredness even when she seemingly gets a full night’s sleep. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. ". Symptoms of sexual abuse that arise later in life may include difficulties with relationships and arousal, low self-esteem and depression, anxiety, stress management, identity crises, and lack of motivation. Consider talking to a therapist yourself to help process your feelings and challenges. How to Spot the Warning Signs of Child Sexual Abuse - WebMD If you think they'll respond in a negative way, don't. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. Greg's story illustrates some of the things that can happen to you as your partner recovers: When Greg met his wife, Linda, she was in counselling because of sexual abuse by her grandfather. 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